Hello, my darlings

One of the first memories I have of TV humour as a kid was Charlie Drake. Today was Charlie’s birthday. He died in 2006, aged 81. I was barely at school when I first noticed this diminutive, red-haired slapstick joker – probably in The Charlie Drake Show. Every show featured a long sketch with an orchestra in which Charlie appeared to play all the instruments while simultaneously conducting. Eventually, there’d be one scene in which he was waiting for his cue to hit the triangle with a single strike, but would always miss it. Everybody aged 6 or 7 thought this was hilarious. It got us through our own turbulent music lessons at school (I always opted to play the triangle). His catchphrase in this show was Hello, my darlings. But I never realised until today that this represented his response to the fact that, being small, his eyeline was invariably at the height of the breasts of any woman he might come across. I feel I’ve learned something and, as a result, am defragging my memory banks. Do I remember The Worker, in which Charlie went for a new job in every episode, but it always ended in disaster? Do I remember that he actually had some musical hits? He certainly recorded a lot. The Top 10 hit Splish Splash was actually a cover version of a Bobby Darin tune. He even had a hit in the States with My Boomerang Won’t Come Back. As late as 1975, the recently post-Genesis Peter Gabriel actually produced a Charlie Drake single called You Never Know. Yes he did and no it wasn’t a hit. What makes me laugh today, however, is that one of the mostly unsuccessful films Charlie made was called Mr Ten Percent, in 1967. Although this is a phrase that is habitually used to describe financial sharks and swindlers, it has been adopted today by Gordon Brown, in an attempt to smear the leader of the opposition. Now, whenever I clock David Cameron, all I’ll be able to see is Charlie Drake. Hello, my darlings.

markgriffiths@idealconsulting.co.uk